The sense of betrayal and rejection can get so intense that some people question their very presence and worth in this life. That is why one of the most difficult realisations is that your struggle and pain can be only temporary, like a woman’s pain during childbirth. If you ache with the pain of rejection, betrayal, disappointment and feel like a lost soul, know that there is rainbow waiting for you just over the hill.
These emotions and hurtful thoughts are real. They exist within the body that stores the suffering. You cannot place it under a microscope or bottle it but the suffering is real! It is not always easy to take the sting out of the hurt, but it is doable. An injured heart is a broken heart and a low spirit lives in the inner caves of despair. Being desperate is not where people should dwell for too long.
Anticipate feeling happy again. Do what makes you happy. I buy one of those colouring-in books for school students and enjoy hours just colouring in, and sometimes outside the lines. It has therapeutic value. Sadness has a way of getting comfortable in a dark and lonely place. Do something that made you happy when you were little. Be it watch a film, visit the amusement park, etc… no matter what it is. Life is full of waves, ups and downs, but it is how you ride the crest, and slip out of the troughs which matter most.
Talk to someone you can trust about the way you feel. Understand that pain, struggle and sorrow can make you stronger. It is how you approach them, from the more positive angle of logic. Peace of mind comes from knowing and exploring the issue with a positive attitude, and most times by surrendering to it. Yes, surrender! In my own life, the times I felt at a complete loss and kept being anxious about something dissipated once I surrendered to what was going on. It is not the same as giving up, but acknowledging and accepting. Peace of mind comes at the point of surrender. It is a sign of faith that you can work it out, inviting a satisfactory conclusion to it all. I actually did nothing outwardly, but maintained my self-esteem by non-action. No retaliation, or worrying thoughts or actions. Patience.
Like childbirth, pain signifies something is being born. Expressing gratitude on a regular basis can ease the pain of disappointment and hurt. Helping someone else in need, without expecting thanks or reward, is a powerful way of rebuilding your spirit. Happy and Sad are two separate arms and part of the same weighing scales. Know that there are predators out there who feast on sadness. Avoid being infected by them. The only vaccine against these influences is to be ‘doing what makes you happy’ and not worry about what other people think of you.
If you notice the way you are breathing when upset you will notice it is very shallow and depriving your brain of essential oxygen. This adds confusion to your mind and makes you slip further down the spiral. It pays to catch yourself doing this and quickly switching over to breathing more deeply. Fill your lungs and hold for at least six seconds at a time before slowly exhaling to carefully release any tenson. Repeat at every opportunity and as necessary. Always feed your brain clear thoughts to stay positive and remain hopeful. Stay well!